Pairing: Sakurai Sho / Aiba Masaki
Summary: What's left to a broken heart?
We’ve been together for almost 4 years. For almost a year, we always sleep in each other’s arms.
“I love you, Sho.” You breathe in the crook of my neck.
In return, I hug you tightly. “I love you, too, Masaki.”
I love you…
It’s almost a year since our parents knew about us. Of course, they didn’t approve of our relationship.
“It’s a disgrace to our family, Sho! I didn’t let you join Arashi just to have a relationship with another man! Nobody’s gay in our family!”
And there he thought they will at least give a little notice to the presence of Masaki. I held your hand tightly. It’s the first time I talked back to my parents.
“I’m sorry but I love him. I love Masaki. And I’ll stay with him until he gets tired of me!”
And the first time I felt the sting on my cheek that was caused by my enraged face of my mother.
“Do not talk to your father like that!”
I felt like a kid. I want someone to hug. I felt tears building in the corner of my eyes. I also felt Masaki shiver.
“I’m sorry. I don’t intend to shout like that. It’s just that…”
“I want to talk to Aiba-san as soon as possible! And I don’t want to see your faces, get out!” my father shouted.
Of course, I was frightened. I only want them to recognize Masaki as my lover.
Do not forget that I love you…
Ever since that incident, I never go home. I stayed at your apartment. Contended that I have you in my arms.
But of course, fate always interferes. You didn’t know but one night, my mom called me.
“Sho, please come to the hospital. Your father was hospitalized!” my mom’s voice was trembling.
I removed your embrace and stood up. Silently, we talked.
I’ll always love you…
Arriving at the hospital room, I felt shivers run down my spine. I walked towards my dad’s bed. He was so peaceful. My mom woke up and hug me.
“Sho! Your father… hiccups… they said he’s in a serious condition!...” I felt tears running down in my cheeks.
“He was depressed since… since you walked away from us…”
The tears kept flowing. My heart’s hurting so bad. Your name is what I thought first. Masaki.
“Please! Your father only wants what’s best for you! I beg you, Sho…”
I was shaking. I felt my world crushed to what my mom said.
“Please leave Aiba for the sake of your father. I… I beg you, Sho… Please leave him and come back to us.”
Not only that, I also learned that my father experienced a mild stroke that made his left leg paralyzed.
Masaki. Help me.
“For the sake of your father, please leave him.”
You gave me the happiness I needed but I only throw it away…
Two days has already passed by. I still don’t tell anyone, especially Masaki, of my recent confrontation with my mother.
We sat in our own room, your head leaning on my shoulder, your arms wrapped around me. I suddenly grabbed him and hug him. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and smelled him. I felt tears building and I didn’t do anything to wipe it away. I guess you felt my soft trembling that’s why you asked me.
“Sho, are you alright?” I closed my eyes and kept in my memories the way you speak my name.
I only kept silent. Surely, you know that I was crying.
“Sho! What’s wrong?” You grabbed my shoulders and pushed me so that you will be able to see my face. My teary-eyed face.
I only shook my head repeatedly.
“Sho, please. Tell me what’s wrong.” In your voice, I know you also want to cry.
Please understand… I’m torn into two…
“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry…” I kept repeating it as if it was a chant. I hug you so tightly and I know you already have a hint. I felt you tremble a little.
“So, I guess, it’s over now?” I looked at your face. You’re crying. You wiped it once but didn’t do it again as the tears were like falls.
I can’t bear losing my parents…
“Hey, it’s alright, I guess?”
I was shocked. It’s alright? That’s all? I was speechless.
“I know you’ve been depressed ever since you fight with your parents.”
But I can’t also bear losing you…
“I can’t believe it’s over…” Masaki said while crying and holding my hand.
“I guess I will just wish you the best, okay?”
You only shook your head. You smiled at me. With tears and trembling body, we shared our last kiss.
My heart will always beat your name, Masaki…